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It’s been a whirlwind past several months in Nene Leakes‘ home after her husband Gregg Leakes was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year. And in a sneak peek of the new season of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” Gregg is revealing what went through his mind when he learned of his illness.

“I guess the scariest part about all of this is when we got to the hospital and the doctor saying that we need to do surgery on you tonight or you ain’t going to make it,” Gregg tells his wife, son Brentt, and two of his friends as they prepare to pray with devotional group leaders. “And so I went over and prayed to God and I told Him, ‘If it’s time, let’s go. I don’t fear death, I don’t want to go. If my work here is finished here, take care of them, let’s go.’” Then Gregg made an admission that made him burst into tears.

“I wrote a note to my doctor and I told him to give it to you if I didn’t come out,” Gregg said before a prayer group leader began consoling him. “Writing that note was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. But you never know what’s in you until you at that door. I never thought I had it in me to fight cancer. Now I want to beat cancer’s ass.” Gregg, whose diagnosis went public in June, has made lots of strides in his fight.

He and his wife went the holistic route to treat the disease before his last surgery in September. It was a procedure Nene said she hoped would be the last. Yet through it all, Nene has stuck by Gregg’s side, even in the most stressful times when her ailing husband hasn’t been so kind to her. Still, Gregg is clearly appreciative. In the preview for Sunday night’s “RHOA” premiere, Gregg tells his bride, “You have been my light. I couldn’t do this without you. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t even try. So I want to thank you, baby.” RHOA’s 11th season premieres on Bravo Nov. 4 at 8 p.m.